


Shy

by BlackCats



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Post-MCA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCats/pseuds/BlackCats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'd think it'd get easier, considering they're dating. (Spoiler: It doesn't.)<br/>(Shintaro, Ayano, and the feeling of permanence.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GStK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GStK/gifts).



It’s sort of stupid of him, all things considered, but Shintaro—

He gulps. Hard.

—he kind of wants to die, right about now.

Ayano’s fallen asleep on the couch he totally bummed off of Hiyori’s family, and that’d be perfectly fine, except for the fact that she’s fallen asleep and she’s _leaning against him_. She’s prone to curling in on herself whenever she sleeps (the fact that he knows this is significantly less creepy since they’re dating) and this time is no exception. She’s practically pressing into his shoulder, legs drawn up, hair and scarf all tangled in the cutest way imaginable.

…Yeah. He _really_ wants to die.

(He loves her more than anything.)

Shintaro spends a solid ten minutes debating whether or not he should do something about this, and in that span of time, the show that’s being streamed has concluded its episode and has helpfully decided to prompt him to select something else to view. That’s all fine and dandy, except he can’t provide an answer since the remote is on Ayano’s side, and moving might wake her up.

So he can’t use the TV as a distraction.

Which means he’s going to have to actually _do_ something about this.

He eyes the nearest doorway. It’s a small apartment with only one bedroom, which works just fine for his needs, but not so much his girlfriend. The place was only rented out recently, and there’s a fine scattering of boxes all over—Shintaro’s main concern had been hooking up his computer and fixing his bed. Dishes? Food? Who cared about _that_ when takeout could be an option for a while?

Ayano had insisted on helping him get settled in, though they’d taken a momentary break to watch a show. He felt pretty bad, all things considered. Had she passed out from exhaustion or something else?

In the end, Shintaro finds himself moving very gingerly, and he’s not going to even _try_ —he knows he doesn’t have the upper arm strength to pick her up. Not like how Seto effortlessly carries Mary, even if the little Medusa weighs about as much as a big cat. Ayano’s not going to get any comfortable rest like this, so if she’s so tired…

She didn’t seem to be aware of anything much until he guided her the (short) distance to his bed, easing her down onto the dark covers. He’s _very_ quick to redirect his thoughts before his mind ends up contemplating the fact that, yes, Ayano is actually lying on his—

“Shintaro?” she murmurs, voice slurring with drowsiness, and he freezes halfway out the door.

“…If you’re tired, sleep. Seriously, it’s all right. I know you have your hands full back home dealing with your siblings.”

He feels bad that he hadn’t noticed earlier. He tries to step out, and—

The bed is right next to the door.

The bed is right next to the door, and somehow there’s no boxes in the way.

The bed is right next to the door, there’s no boxes in the way, and Ayano takes his sleeve in hand.

“W-Wait.”

(He wants to die?)

His heart’s lodged in his throat but he manages to speak anyway. Some vicious bastardization of the word _What?_ emerges that would make a linguist cry.

“I-It’s…Never mind, I—“ He hears the hesitance in the words, hears her doubt herself and cut herself off, but he feels oddly proud of the fact that she doesn’t stop there. “…What I mean is…St-Stay with me? Sorry if I’m asking for too much…!”

She laughs nervously and it’s the kind of thing that could have kept him chasing her forever.

Shintaro turns around very slowly. His face is as red as his jacket and he sees the sky blushing in envy of it outside. This is either a good thing or a very, very, _bad_ thing.

Ayano smiles at him as he sits on the far end of the bed, and he decides it must be the former.

“Come a little closer,” she says with amusement in every syllable. “It’s _your_ bed, Shintaro. You’re about to fall off!”

“You don’t think I know that?” He sounds harsher than he intended, but she knows.

She’s pondering something. There’s a look in her eyes that he’s steadily come to recognize, something he’s always overlooked before. She’s good with feelings, though not always her own. “You, um, told me to be a little more selfish from now on, didn’t you?”

He remembers this talk. Shintaro pushes a hand through his hair. “Yeah.”

Ayano twists a strand of hair around one finger, but she looks at him when she says, “Please, come sit next to me?” She looks away immediately afterwards, and his heart melts.

So he does.

And once more, he’s certain he’d welcome the embrace of death.

Shintaro realizes she’s not going to say what’s on her mind until he stops sitting as stiff as a board, so he makes himself relax, reclining backwards like they’re on some grassy hillside and not alone in his apartment at sundown. She always grows thoughtful when dusk falls, and he thinks now is no exception. Ayano lays down beside him.

The room is bathed in red.

“Th-This shouldn’t be so embarrassing, should it?”

(And, oh, she’s _good_. She nearly had him fooled.)

She’s dumb though, he thinks, incredulous about it all. _She’s_ the one who got them into this situation, and she’s still burning up as badly as he is.

“No,” he admits, wry. “Since we’re, well, d-d…date…”

It’s a pretty new thing, the dating.

She mumbles an agreement, but then she goes and just curls into him again, like it’s nothing, like she hadn’t just been igniting her very being with the flame of self-consciousness with him not even ten seconds ago. Ayano ducks her head into his shoulder and closes her eyes, steadies her breathing, spreads the fingers of one hand out across his chest.

His heart is racing against hers. _Faster, faster, faster._

(But this is nice.)

Shintaro lets her have this peace for a while before he asks, “What’s wrong?”

She’s quiet.

Like, _really_ quiet. Silent as the grave.

Then:

“I’m just…making sure you’re really here.”

“Oh.”

Because that’s all he’s got.

Oh.

He has moments of stupid courage that hit him at impromptu moments. He succumbs to one such moment now, turning and pulling her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her, trying not to think about the way she gasps into his embrace, like it’s the _last_ thing she expected.

The feeling she has? He knows it. He experiences it every day.

He wakes up, and thinks she won’t really be there.

(But there’s no one living in his computer anymore, and it’s been a year now, and her smile is no longer just a memory.)

“Y-You’re here. You’re here, all right?”

Ayano tries to nod like it’s all okay, but he hears the catch in her breathing. The silence rushes back in.

She moves a bit, later.

“Um, Shintaro? You’re on my arm,” she whispers like she’s sharing some dread secret, spurring him into jolting up in embarrassment.

“Gah—sorry! I really didn’t mean to—“

She catches him before he can flee, tugging him back down beside her with a very gentle pull on his hand.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, please, don’t worry!” She pushes her hand through his hair, and it’s almost a friendly tousle, except her nails _ever so slightly_ scrape his scalp, and he wants to die all over again. “Um, I just…Well…Thank you. For letting me be silly for a little.”

“Tch, you think _you’re_ silly?” he grumbles, folding his arms behind his head and flopping back onto his back. Ayano stays sitting up, but she looks down at him with this gentle, loving fondness…

He’s reminded why he suddenly felt so motivated to get up and make a future for them. It’s self-motivated to an extent, sure, but—

It’s also for her.

“We can finish unpacking tomorrow,” he remarks, eyeing the boxes in absolute disinterest. There’s nothing packed up that’s really important.

Ayano smiles in that knowing way of hers. “I’ll be here, Shintaro.”

**Author's Note:**

> welcome back to "written at 4:30am" theater folks. today's topic: shintaro/ayano, because why not?


End file.
